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Wednesday, January 1, 2014

The Month After Christmas Diet Poem

The Month After Christmas Diet Poem
Author Unknown 

'Twas the month after Christmas, 
and all through the house 
Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse. 
The cookies I'd nibbled, the eggnog I'd taste at the
holiday parties had gone to my waist. 
When I got on the scales 
there arose such a number! 
When I walked to the store 
(less a walk than a lumber). 
I'd remember the marvelous meals I'd prepared; 

The gravies and sauces and beef nicely rared, 
The wine and the rum balls, the bread and the cheese 
And the way I'd never said, "No thank you, please." 
As I dressed myself in my husband's old shirt 
And prepared once again to do battle with dirt--- 
I said to myself, as only I can 
" You can't spend a winter disguised as a man! " 

So--away with the last of the sour cream dip, 
Get rid of the fruit cake, every cracker and chips 

Every last bit of food that I like must be banished 
" Till all the additional ounces have vanished. 
I won't have a cookie--not even a lick. 
I'll want to chew only on a long celery stick. 

I won't have hot biscuits, or corn bread, or pie, 
I'll munch on a carrot and quietly cry. 
I'm hungry, I'm lonesome, and life is a bore--- 
But isn't that what January is for? 
Unable to giggle, no longer a riot. 
Happy New Year to all and to all a good diet!"


Less diet more goals this year guys! Let's make lifestyle changes! Cheers to a happy, healthy new year!!


  1. That's a nice poem, i really enjoyed your writing. This poem is very well written and great for those planning to eat a lot this christmas and go on a diet after. Anyway, i discovered your website while looking for poems to post for pinterest Thank you for sharing!

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